Pre-Wedding Tips to Help Your Guy Get Happily

Most brides freak out in one way or another before their wedding day. Grooms freak out, too.

Freaking out before a wedding day is perfectly normal and this experience comes in all shapes and sizes. Freaking out may mean going away for a weekend to think or ponder, escaping for a day with a friend or oneself, taking a 2 a.m. drive to “clear ones head,” or just having a moment in time where one is jumpy, irritable, quiet, snappy or weepy.

A wedding day freak out experience is a natural response to what a wedding is really all about: it is a huge life transition from one state of life to another. During an engagement period, it is healthy to ask hard questions and to question a big life choice. A wedding brings up a lot of “stuff,” and the best thing you can do as an engaged couple is to turn toward each other not away from each other. So, let’s help your guy!

Here are four pre-wedding tips to help get your guy (and you!) down the wedding aisle with ease and grace:

1) Don’t Make Freaking Out Before A Wedding A Big Deal: Instead of looking at a freak out experience as a negative, view it as a positive. Feelings come up during an engagement that are meant to be acknowledged and talked about. Instead of pushing aside uncomfortable feelings that may be bubbling at the surface, face them head on. Invite your Sweetheart to talk with you by letting him know it’s safe to “feel funny” or uncomfortable, blue or uncertain during a big life transition.

2) Sit Down Together And Make A Big Dream Map: I know, this may sound trite. If your guy is feeling a bit “out of sorts” and seems distant, in lieu of talking, create an evening where you both sit down with a pile of magazines and create a dream map or “vision board” for your future together. This “to do activity” involves a lot of cutting and pasting and is great for a guy who likes to be “doing something” while talking. This arts and crafts task may also easily elicit conversation around sensitive or choppy topics/issues.

3) Suggest A Get-A-Way for Your Guy: Sometimes, guys just want to be with guys. If your guy is seeming a bit overwhelmed with wedding stuff, suggest that he and a guy friend or more take a weekend and go do “guy stuff.” Sometimes just being with guy friends helps an almost married guy keep things in perspective and guys talk is much different than guy/gal talk!

4) Do Pre-Marriage Work: To navigate any and all pre-wedding freak out moments, take time during your engagement to deepen your relationship so you can both walk into your wedding day with confidence and great appreciation and respect for one another.

Pre-marriage coaching or counseling – either as a couple or in a group – is an excellent way for you to deepen your relationship and bond and to create enhanced intimacy and communication. It’s suggested that less than 10% of all couples do any pre-marriage work. Be brave, be leading edge and protect your relationship with skills and tools to co-create a happy partnership and marriage!